I am drawing a blank today.
So I am going to resort to drudging up the past and looking back at all of those most embarrassing moments in life... yeah, that sounds like fun.
Okay, once when I was in grade 8, I was coming home from school with an armload of books. As I approached my door, a bunch of guys (one of whom I had a major crush on) from the neighbourhood who were MUCH older than me (like 17) were walking past my house.
My dad had just changed the screen door to the winter, all glass door and I guess I wasn't used to it yet because when I bumped it open using my butt (my arms were full) I think I bumped it a little too hard and it broke. Yes, and my butt got stuck in the door. And the guys... well, they were probably going to have to change their underwear they were all laughing so hard.
So picture this, there is me, my butt STUCK in this broken glass door because a peice of glass is jabbing me and I am afraid to move while three guys are rolling on the sidewalk in front of my house and me yelling frantically for my dad... yup, that was bad. I gave it *** out of five stars.
I just couldn't help the fact that I had a rock hard butt... *sigh* where did those days go?
Ninth grade. Oooh, did I ever think I was cool! I was hip, totally popular and senior boys thought I was a "future prospect" (it took me like 3 months to figure out what that one meant)I had the world in my pocket (sensing the joking here I hope...)
So I am walking down the hall in the main foyer and I thought I was "the bomb" because a group of senior boys were walking behind me with an ocasional whistle or obscene comment. Okay, so a bunch of my friends who are off to the SIDE sitting on the stairs call my name "ooh I am sooo popular" GAG.
Anyway, I look over (to the side) and start yelling over to them while still walking FORWARD and then THWAP!
And I am flat on my back with a goosegg the size of Everest forming in the middle of my forehead. Yup, I had just walked into a metal bar that divided a door in the hallway in half. Okay, now the boys were killing themselves laughing as well as my friends. Man am I an A**.
"when I look down I miss all the good stuff, when I look up I trip over things..." Ani.
The last embarrasing highschool incident was when I got de-skirted in ninth grade by some mean girl after school while practically the WHOLE SCHOOL was out on the front lawn waiting for the city busses.
Two things I SHOULDN'T have done in that incident...
1. Yelped. That made everyone stare at me.
2. Been wearing nude knee highs... oh, that was NOT good.
Then comes college. You think I would have developed a little bit of grace by now but no. That was not the case.
There was the time I was on a first date with a really, really cute guy. We went with a group of people of people to play hide and go seek up in the canyons in Utah. Me and a couple of the other girls were crouched in the bushes just off the path when we heard the guys coming so we sprung up to start running. Well, I tripped. Bad. It was as if someone had just shoved me with all their mightier than might from behind. My face was on a quick route to the pavement so I stuck my hand out to save it. When I got up, my pinky finger looked like the letter Z.
My date had to take me to emergency room and sat with me for two hours at 1am.
Needless to say, I didn't see him again.
Whys is it that all of these ocassions must include hot guys!
Let's not think about the time when I was on another first date and at the movie theater, I walked into the guys bathroom (the door was pushed open against the wall, couldn't see the sign). The smart thing to do would have been to turn around and quickly and quietly walk out. But no, once again my little yelp got me in trouble as two guys turned around mid pee, and I just stood there for a moment out of shock... NOT FROM THEM OF COURSE...
Yup, I guess these little moments are just God's way of humbling me. Man, I must be stuck up.