Gingerly Lizzy


THE GOLD'S GYM CULT
2001-10-26 - 2:06 p.m.

FRIDAYYYYY! As you can tell... I love this day.

So Dave and I got a combined gym membership yesterday... YEAH!

Now I can start loosing all that honeymoon fat that has accumulated. Plus, for some random reason, I have been kind of depressed lately. Not sure why, my life far from sucks... must be hormones...geesh. BUT, the working out should help that bigtime.

So, what are your thoughts on the gym?

Me? Well, I have had some pretty scary experiences at the gym...

I HATE when guys either watch you working out or try and actually pick you up while you are working out. The ring should really help with that. I am glad that this particular gym has a womens section.

You want to work hard and sweat a lot because that means that you are healthy and in shape. BUT, you don't want anyone to actually see you sweat. This is impossible if you are actually putting some grunt into it. So either you pretend to work hard and look good, or you deal with the underarm tacos and all the other little discolored areas that happen in your bike shorts...

Don't ever wear grey or "Heather". You are just ASKING for trouble.

I mean, when is the last time you looked at someone who's shirt looked grey with BLACK splotches all over it and you said... "wow, good for that guy, he is working hard." Nope more like... "EWWWWW grosssss".

There is nothing worse than some guy watching you while you are on the thigh press.

You know the machine that practically forces you into the splits and you have to fight it with your quivering thighs?

Why is it that those machines are always highly visible and facing so that if you are wearing short shorts, your privates become not so private anymore. I HATE that. I swear those males personal trainers have meetings...

Franz: "Hey how about the butt machine, you know the one where when they lie on their tummys and pull their heels to their butts? That is always a fun one... their butts stick out wayyy more than their feet ever do, lets put that one right in the middle of the gym"

Hanz: "But that is right next to the free weights section"

Franz: "Exactly, for entertainment purposes..."

Hanz: "YEAH!!! That will save us on getting another tv!"

And why is it that they often place mirrors right in front of all the treadmills? Like I want to look at my red, bloated, sweaty self while I am huffing and puffing... ONE REASON...

BOOBS.

Yup. Girls dominate those machines and so they know that by putting a mirror in front of those babies it is like getting live late night television (Better than Jerry Springer) with all these poor girls in sports bras bouncing around...

Luckily I don't bounce. I wish I did but you actually need some matter under there for bouncy-ness.

I wish.

Thank goodness for the wonders of birth control now though... I think I am detecting a slight wiggle...

anyway.

That is why I hate the gym. But if I don't start going regularly again, I am going to hate my butt soooo much more.

Dizzy-Unmotivated-Lizzy

< The UNTAMING of the SHREW! | DO THE MONSTER MASH! >