Today i am displaced. I guess that is the only word I can really use to describe the way that I am feeling right now.
Everything about the future is so up in the air...
Will Dave and I be living in his parents basement apartment?
Will he go into business or orthodontics?
What the heck am I going to take in school?
Can I stand working full time for another year?
Will we end up living here or somewhere else?
Will I finish school?
Baby sooner or later?
I just feel so, unsettled. I don't know what it is. It doesn't help that Dave and I seem to be fighting lately and I know it is all my fault. No, I am not one of those crumbly girls who always takes the blame. I rarely take the blame... even when it is my fault. But I know that lately it has been my fault. I have just been downright MEAN to him, cranky, negative, insecure... who is this person who has taken over my body? And he has handled it so well... it makes me feel guilty.
I really need to shake it off...
I am going to try...
Things I am looking forward to?
Katie coming for the summer- this will be so much fun and so good for me (and her!)
The summer. Camping, rockclimbing, swimming, Dave's rockin tan... Lake Powell? Las Vegas? California?
New York in the fall- if we can save the money...
I think I might be starting to get burned out by working full time... but we need this job, the medical insurance...
I just wish I didn't have to be so darn responsible all the time.