Gingerly Lizzy

2002-01-31 - 9:39 a.m.

Twiggle... quick question... how do you make it so that people can't see the code when they click view source? Okay everyone... go and visit my friend Ant and look at the pretty layout I made for him... nicccceeeee eh?

Last night was extremely unproductive in a productive way. How is that possible you ask? Well for one, I did not much except finish my second book this week, lay in bed at watch t.v. All of this while the apartment was kind of messy and laundry to be done.

I just wasn't feeling the greatest, kind of bloated with the dumb ACHE so I decided it was a night of slothfulness for me.

Dave was writing is thesis for English, I was watching blind date. What a trashy show that is. Nice people always get thrashed on it and I don't care what anyone says, Nice guys/girls DON'T finsh last. Especially in the end. I need to stop watching it. I can FEEL myself losing braincells.

Dave picked up some Mc D's for dinner and I had chicken nuggets with honey (My FAVE!) and a strawberry milkshake. Yeah, I know, I still don't like grownup food.

Then I fell asleep while Dave was in the shower. Unfortunately, he got out just in time to witness my moment of night psycho-ness.

When I was little, I used to have Night Terrors. These are not nightmares, and most kids don't experience them but I sure did. I was always scared to go to sleep, I had nightmares that were so realy I would wake up and still be caught up in them. One night, my mom rushed into my room to find me screaming and hitting the edge of my bed repeatedly with my pillow. I saw a huge bug running towards me and I was trying to swat it away. I was fully awake too...

I guess it was probably the product of having an overly vivid imagination. I could never watch a scary movie or I would have a night terror for sure. This made me curious about them and I would sneak one whenever I could. After watching some old -ax murderer movie once I hallucinated a ax murderer walking into my baby sisters room. It was dang real to me and almost sent me into convulsions and scared the heck out of my mother.

Sometimes, when I am in a deep sleep I drift into semi consciousness and see things. I mean have full ON hallucinations. Sometimes it is these creepy little trolls crawling towards me but more often it is bugs on the wall... centipedes, bees buzzing overhead and most frequently- HUGE HAIRY NASTY SPIDERS. I have a mean case of arachnaphobia. There were times when I was a kid that I would not sleep in my room if there had been a spider in there and it got away from my dad.

So last night I had one, a big giant spider crawling towards my face. Well I screamed and jumped out of bed ran out of the room into the hallway. It doesn't take me very long to realize it was just "one of those" and I am so used to it I snap right out of it and go right back to bed.

But Dave came out in time to hear the blood curdling scream and see me slam against the wall in the hallway.

So he proceeded to laugh his head off.

And I proceeded to get mad and not be able to go back to sleep.

Want to know another thing that makes me furious even though it shouldn't? When people laugh at me. I don't mind laughing with someone about me, but if I am not laughing, neither should you, and I don't find very many things amusing at 11:30pm after I have been awoken by a horribly disgusting arachnid that wasn't really there.

He was soon forgiven though, and then we got the "chats". You know, where you want to talk about EVERYTHING and even though you are dead tired, you just keep talking and tell the other person to be quiet and go to sleep but then turn around and say something else?

I highly value my sleep and so I must have told Dave 12 times to stop talking and go to sleep, but then I could hear him holding back laughter every time and so I start laughing and then the whole viscious cycle starts again.

There is a point to this story though....

While I was laying there trying to get into the mind frame of sleep, I had an "AH HA!" momment.

I am really going to try and better myself in a few areas.

One of these being my greatest- procrastination. I tend to wait until the very last minute to get those things done that I don't want to do but seem to find time to accomplish everything that I enjoy. This causes problems when I am rushing around to get things done so from now on, I am going to try really hard to get the unpleasant things done first and have all the free time leftover for the fun stuff. I know I will get so much more accomplished in a day and feel it was more worthwhile.

Another thing is to stop eating junk. I know that I am not fat by any means and "no I am not complaining Katie" but I do have a little extra junk in my trunk and it is caused by me cravings for sweets. I am taking control! Seriously! I hate going to the gym. I find it monotonous. I am active enough in every day life to be in great shape IF I didn't consume so much sugar. I can cut back on the gym visits or at least the intensity and just enjoy LIVING.

And the third thing is to be nicer.

To Dave, to my friends, to random strangers... whatever. I realize that I have a MAJOR mean streak and not very much patience with some people. That is going to change.


Wow, who needs a self help guru when you have the built in motivator standing on your shoulder!

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