I know this is my second entry today but I just got back from the appointment with the specialist and just finished drying my eyes after breaking down in my boss's office. Good thing that he is like a grandpa to me or else it would have been a pretty embarrassing situation.
My surgery is on the 19th. I have a dermoid cyst on my left ovary and a simple one (or so they think) on my right. The one on the right could also be a dermoid cyst, because they are usually bilateral (grow on both sides) but just with different contents.
I really hope not. The reason for this is that dermoid cysts aren't usually found in women my age. They are usually found in women who have had a few children already, in the late childbearing years or past them. So... they usually just remove the whole ovary. This is much easier.
When they remove a dermoid cyst (especially big ones like mine), a lot of times, scar tissue will form and this renders the ovary useless. They do their best to prevent this but there is only so much they can do.
This means there is a chance that this surgery could drastically affect my future fertility.
And even a small chance of that scares me to death.
I also found out that it might require a much more invasive surgery. I guess that a cyst that large cannot usually be removed so easily with a laproscopic surgery. This means overnight hospital stay and I never have done it and don't want to.
But that is nothing... I just don't want to end up sterile at the age of 22.
I want babies, I already have a strong desire for them. I always wanted a big family, like mine. Five or even six kids.
I guess that I will just have to leave it all in God's hands and trust that he will take care of me. I think it will be okay- funny what fear can do to you though...
Sorry to gross anyone else out with the details but heck, it is my diary and I need to vent! I am sick of talking about my own problems, I think I am going to browse diaryland and read about everyone else's for awhile! Makes me count my blessings that's for sure!