Well, I don't know what to say this morning.
When I walked out to my car after watching a bit of the remembrance ceremonies, I could hear bagpipes in the distance, the skies were grey but the mood was peaceful and somber.
I remember a year ago today, I had driven to work, noting that the roads were unusually traffic free, but not thinking too much about it...
Arriving at work, being the only one here for awhile, and then Dave calling me, telling me what was happening.
I was trying desperately to get some kind of radio feed on the net. Everything was clogged up, so I sat at my desk, tears streaming down my face, imagining what terror so many people were experiencing in the very city that I had spent so much time in myself. Wondering about the family that I nannied for... the father works in Manhattan, the childrens friends parents work in the world trade center... learning later that Craig and Nancy lost a couple friends, and the kids friends a few parents...
It didn't fully register. Even now, I can't completely understand until I make the trip back sometime this year... and see the gaping holes for myself.
I have shed many tears, empathizing with those families who have lost their loved ones. Taking comfort in the fact that they can be reunited again.
I can't believe it was a year ago today... exactly ten days when I was striving to find a balance between grief and happiness... my wedding was exactly ten days from Sept. 11th.
I know that living here as somewhat of an outsider, in the United States after that fateful day, and grieving with Americans everywhere, I learned a lot about them/us, and how united they/we become in the face of adversity. And how proud I felt to have Canadian AND American blood running through these veins for one of the first times since I had moved here.
So today, I remember.