Gingerly Lizzy

Make em' do push-ups.
2002-11-19 - 9:08 a.m.

Today is Tuesday but it is sorta a Wednesday for me since I have Friday off and so Thursday will be my Friday this week. And YES, I am that neurotic.

I need to stop watching maternity ward. It is really starting to freak me out on the whole birth thing. Mind you, right now, I am not afraid of actually giving birth... women have done it since the beginning of time with a LOT less help then there is now. I am more afraid of something going wrong with the baby. And someone PLEASE kick me if I am one of those whiney "in labour" women who cry "I can't do it... I'm too tired" and moan and generally put up a big stink the ENTIRE time. And these are the ones WITH the epidural. Natural birth... go ahead and whine all you want. I mean sure, I will feel entitled to some moaning and whining and perhaps a little yelp here and there but come on... my mom has been through it six times and from what I hear, she was brave, and there really isn't a need for all of that. Plus, it is just so darn ANNOYING to watch on that show. And you have to feel sorry for the husbands who look like they are ready to rip their ears off rather than listen to a woman whine for 18 hours. You can whine for maybe three. But 18? Common now...Compassionate, compassionate me.

When you think about it, that poor little baby is going through a LOT worse of a time, being uprooted from the warm, safe, dark waterworld it has called home for nine months. Squeezed so hard that the bones in its little head squish together and then brought into this bright, noisy, frantic atmosphere where sometimes it gets slapped right away but definitely get poked and prodded and needled. Think about it, to us it would be the equivalent of being drugged and abducted by aliens who preform all sorts of experiments on you. And they don't speak your language so crying "no please, that hurts" does absolutely no good.

I guess that is why I hate watching a woman giving birth who stops pushing when that poor baby is being squished and says "I can't do it anymore" when all the doctors and nurses are saying "NOOOOOOO! You can do it PUSH, get that baby OUT!!!!".

Maybe we should send every child bearing aged woman to navy seal boot camp for a week so then when it comes time to give birth, they will go "oh, that was all? that was a cinch compared to the 150 push ups I had to do in the snow in my underwear with a 200 lb seargant on my back.

Yeah... that is a good plan.

Yeah, this was a retarded entry but is there at least a pinch of truth to it? No????

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