Gingerly Lizzy

2003-04-07 - 9:12 a.m.

I went to bed last night with a splitting headache, and woke up several times through the night with it, and again this morning. I finally broke down this morning and took to extra strength tylenol. Even though the doc says it is okay to take these, I don't like the thought of taking any pills during the pregnancy.

But I guess that is kind of hypocritical considering that I plan to have an epidural!

I feel much better now, besides the fact that I am at work of course!

I spend most of this weekend lying down due to this back of mine. And there isn't much you can do while lying down besides watch tv or read, so you can figure out what I did for most of the weekend.

That is probably why I got the headache.

Friday night, Dave and I joined his friends for dinner at Ruby Tuesday's. By the end, I was silently pleading with my eyes for us to leave because of the extreme back cramping.

It is just so frustrating, I could scream!

Saturday, in between conference sessions, I went to Meier and Frank and even though I said I wasn't going to get any more baby clothes until after the shower, I couldn't resist the big sale they were having. I got three ADORABLE onesies (1 newborn, 2 3-6 months) for a bargain, some plain white snap front t-shirts for when the little guys belly button is healing (they reccomend to stay away from anything that covers the belly button for that first week so it can heal properly), a little sun hat from Baby Gap and also a pair of long john pajamas (3-6 months) with puppies on the bottom and a little felt Daschund sewn on the front (just like my dog Ginger at home! I couldn't resist!)

And, I found the little guys "coming home" outfit. From the second hand baby store no less...

Brand new though. It is baby blue little one piece short sleeved, short outfit. It looks like something a baby boy would wear sometime in the fifties. With some white embroidery down one side, and little white buttons, and a matching cap with two little white buttons. SO PRESCIOUS! Even Dave thought it was adorable! And Sunday, his mother brought home two pairs of gorgeous knitted booties that his aunt had made us, one that matches perfectly so he is ALL SET!

And no, I couldn't help going into his room three times a day to open the drawers and look at all the little things that are waiting for him. Fold and re-fold them. Imagine what it will be like to dress him and hold him and cherish him.

It is sort of like waiting for Christmas, except this is 10000000000x better.

75 more days, and this weekend I will be counting down the last 10 weeks.


That doesn't seem like so long when you say it like that - 10 weeks, only 10 WEEKS!

I watched the news last night where they were showing a story about a young couple, he was in the millitary and waiting to be shipped out, and she was pregnant due any day. They thought he was going to have to leave before she had the baby, but for some reason, his departure was delayed and he was able to be there for the birth of his daughter. The baby went into cardiac arrest for some reason a few days later and a week after it was born, it passed away. The wife was trying to choke back emotion as she explained that she was very grateful for the blesssing that he was able to be there with her, and to help her through it all.

I just sat there bawling for that mother and her loss, and for her goodness, and I don't think I could be so gracious if it were me... I think I would go nuts, and need to be medicated. I guess you never know how you would react until you are faced with that kind of thing, but I just don't think I could be as strong.

I can barely wait for him to be here, to be a mom, and I don't know that if it was me, if I could go on so well...

It started me thinking last night, what I would do if it happened to me. I decided that putting myself in those shoes, I could see myself going through the motions, being depressed and crying all the time, feeling sorry for myself, not looking at the bright side, but trying to move on. I would probably busy myself with lots of hobbies, excersize and go find a job that was fun. As for trying again, I don't think I would be able to for awhile... building up all that hope and coming so CLOSE and then losing everything would be crushing. I think it would take me awhile before I had enough faith to try again without being totally paranoid all the time.

But that is just me.

And don't worry, I am not getting fatalistic or anything, I am just one of those people who always likes to think "what if?".

On to happier subjects...

I almost forgot to mention that my husband is the best in the world. Why does he deserve this title you ask? Well, Friday night, my back was killing me, I was feeling down and just lying in bed vegetating.

He knew I was feeling less than happy. He comes into the room, flops on the bed snuggling up to me, and asks me:

D= "Do you want a card?"

L= "huh?"

D= "Would it make you feel better if I gave you a card?"

L= "You are not supposed to ask me that, you are just supposed to give me the card!"

D= "Okay, well here..."

He reaches over to his night stand and grabs a long red envelope and hands it to me... AWWWW! I open it and inside is a gift certificate for a one hour massage!!! WHOO HOO!

I guess he got it sometime last week and was waiting for the right time to give it to me.

Oh my gosh, I just love this man. I so didn't deserve it, I feel like all I do is complain and crab lately, and he seems to be the ear all my whining falls on.

I am going to schedule my massage for tomorrow night while he is working late. I am excited to lie on my belly again! (they have those special tables with the belly hole in the middle...).

I am SO spoiled.

< Layette | Why is this so difficult to understand? >