Gingerly Lizzy

2003-04-16 - 1:09 p.m.

Wow, well I guess I am going to have to follow-up that last entry with a not so fun one.

I got a note in my guestbook that really kind of... well, hurt my feelings. The writing that follows is not geared towards this particular note or person, it is just something that has been on my mind as of late, so please don't assume I am talking to you :)

This process entering the world of motherhood has been exciting, wonderful, daunting, scary as heck, among other things.

One thing I have found is that there are few things that cause women to be so vicious and strongly opinionated as the business of forming their own opinions on what is right/wrong mothering techniques, childrearing skills, etc.

Whether you are into A/P or whether you feel that you need to create independance in your child.

Whether you breastfeed, or for whatever reason, cannot, or choose to bottle feed.

Whether you stay at home or work.

Whether you use disposable diapers or cloth diaper.

Whether you homeschool/public/private school.

Natural Birth or Hospital Birth, Drugs/no drugs, immunize or not...

there are a million and one things to debate. What bothers me, is that fact that there are people out there who choose to make judges of themselves, before knowing EVERYTHING about both sides of the argument... and to do that, you really have to be in the other persons shoes, don't you?

So who's place is it to judge? Well, I would like to think that we will leave that up to the courts and God. It is one thing to judge if something is right or not for YOU, based on watching anothers actions. It is entirely something else to JUDGE another PERSON, from such a small viewpoint.

I have heard from several friends, hurtful comments that have been said against them because they choose something that differs from someone else's opinion - they don't or can't breastfeed, they have to go back to work... these things make them an unfit mother? I think not...

I think the best argument someone can give, is to state the reasons why they themselves choose a certain path, not to state why someone else should have or shouldn't. That simply puts people on the defensive.

You know what? My mom had a certain way of doing things. It worked great for her and us... and my friends mothers had different ways, and other peoples mothers did things their ways, but one thing that I have learned is that how much respect one shows for another, is something that demonstrates the measure of a person, far more than any opinion ever could.

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