Gingerly Lizzy

32 Weeks
2003-04-28 - 9:05 a.m.

I am tired this morning. Tired of being tired. Tired of being pregnant. Tired of stubborn attitudes and concrete opinions. Tired of work. Tired of having to do it all myself. Tired of sore backs and side pains and a BIG BUTT. Even tired of diaryland too. I think after the baby is born, I will update with a birth story, and then take a little hiatus. There is just too much closed mindedness going on lately around here. Too many experts.

This weekend was not such a good one. I was hormonal and moody and kind of mean to Dave.

It was good to have Friday off, we managed to get our cars registered without having to wait in any major lines. We got the grocery shopping done, I got a nap, we went to dinner at this new place downtown called the Roasted Artichoke, featuring mainly - dishes with Artichoke. I had never even had an artichoke before, but Dave showed me the light and we had some REALLY good food. Mmmmm, artichokes are GOOD! I don't think the restaurant will last too long in this area though... that kind of creative cuisine often doesn't fly very much with the locals. Too bad.

Saturday I got some bad directions to the bridal shower for Kinney. It took a half hour of driving around in unknown territory and cursing under my breath (or not so much so)before I found the place. As usual, I didn't know a single person there besides Kinney - and I am not too fond of those situations, but she looked beautiful, and it was great to see her so happy and in love and give her a big hug.

The wedding dinner is Friday, the wedding and reception on Saturday. I am so glad that I get to share this all with her this time around!

Saturday night, Dave was going to go out with his best buddy L* since he is leaving for AZ this week. I was grumpy that I hadn't seen Dave all day and then wasn't going to see him all night. Turns out L* got tickets to the Jazz game at the last minute so Dave did come home but ended up watching the game upstairs with his Dad anyway. Probably a good idea considering just how grumpy I was.

Sunday, I did nothing but stay in bed and read. My back was killing me every time I tried to sit up for any length of time, and generally, just didn't feel very good.

I don't today either but I have to be here so I am here.

I don't know what it is with me lately. I just feel so down and depressed and can't seem to control it or shake it. I am not sure whether this is hormonal, or just me being tired of feeling like a big bucket of poop all the time.

To tell the truth, at this point, I donít have much fear about labor - it will mean the END of pregnancy and the beginning of motherhood and no amount of pain will be able to staunch my excitement at starting this new chapter. The only thing that might hamper that will be if I have to have a C-Section. After experiencing that kind of pain and recovery (or lack of) after my surgery, that is the ONE thing I am really dreading.

8 more weeks (54 days) left until my due date. 25 more days of work. I need to get this chin up somehow or another.

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