Gingerly Lizzy

Attack of the X
2002-04-26 - 8:31 a.m.

I am such a crowd pleaser and I really hate that. I wish I could just do whatever, wear whatever and love myself for it. But that is just so hard for me. I want to be liked... by everyone... and you can't be liked by everyone if you completely throw everything to the wind.

I also have an intense jealousy of rebellious people. It is so dumb. I am totally aware of this. It is like I see what they are doing and I realize how stupid some of the things people do are, but that doesn't stop the little green monster from coming out of me.

Maybe it is because I used to be that way... somewhat rebellious... and now I am not. It is really weird. I am happy where I am...

I just need to learn not to care so much about other peoples junk.

So last night Dave and I wend to Media Play and spent most of my gift certificate. I got the Remember the Titans DVD- one of my favorite movies of all time! Jack Johnson, Become You-Indigo Girls and Retrospective-Indigo Girls. I had Retrospective but left in in New York. I hate having to buy CD's over again but that was definitely one of my favorites. I got Dave the Goo Goo Dolls greatest hits. I wasn't too excited about that but after listening to it, I think I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. I couldn't find Andy Stochansky so I am probably just going to have to hit Borders up for that eventually.

After our little shopping spree, we headed home to catch the last and epic episode of the Bachelor. I am glad that it was Amanda, she wanted it more and they are definitely more suited for each other. What I am thinking is what is she going to think when she sees that he slept with Trista the freakin night before her! How slime can you get there! Uggggg.

We headed to Red Robbins after the show for some late night grub and we ran into Rachel and Brad. They joined us for dinner and she let me in on the fact that she is expecting. Wow. This is like four of my friends in a period of a couple months. How exciting. Kinda wish it was me... kinda glad it isn't.

On the way out, who did I spy with my little eye but Aaron. This wasn't Barney Rubble-thumb Aaron. This is Aaron that I dated on and off for a year and a half and only kissed once. Yeah- how dang weird was that. Let me explain.

Aaron and I became friends I think, before we were dating. At least that is how I thought of him, and I thought he felt the same way. We treated each other like friends, he never tried to put the moves on me-ever! Then I hear from a good friend that he seriously likes me... he was nice, cute, funny, considerate. We kinda held hands, snuggled up during movies, but there were still serious friend vibes so it just never seemed to get past that point. I dated other guys- some of them seriously and at those points Aaron would just disappear into the woodwork. And magically re-appear when things didn't work out. It was the most bizarre situation.

Right before I left for CT, we had been hanging out alot. I highlighted his hair for him one night and when he walked me out to my car, he asked if he could kiss me. It was SO out of the blue. So we kissed. It was nice and SO WEIRD. After so long, we finally kissed but there just wasn't any sparks there for me. And the whole way home I was in disbelief.

Shortly after that, I met Dave. Avoided Aaron. Moved to CT.

Then when I moved back here, I ran into Aaron while looking for a table at the DI and he was with his... his... wife!

SOOOOOO weird, and awkward. He acted like we had barely been friends let alone really good friends.

I was engaged at that time.

So yesterday we were walking out and who do we see but Aaron and his PREGNANT wife. (Is there anyone who ISN'T PREGNANT?)I know that he saw us. But we both pretended not to see each other. Dave chided me to say hi but I wasn't going to after the way that he acted last time. And I didn't know if he knew that we saw him.

It is just so weird. Ther are a few choice x-boyfriends (ahem... Cameron) that I would love to run into, with Dave on arm.

And there are those that I would rather never see.

Like Dan. Who I saw in blockbuster the other Day and lets just say he got a lot... more hefty since he got married.

But I am NOT even going there.

I realize that I dated way too many guys. But I guess I had to go through the scraps to get to the gold...

*David*... *sigh*...

Happy Friday everyone!


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